the ugly earring

Today 9th June of the year 1939

dollop of syrup
frizzing her hair
like feathers
in the middle of the fried egg
smelling of her song
of lilies

poem and painting: mother and child on the beach – picasso

Ah Margarida,
If I gave you my life,
What would you do with it?

I’d take my earrings out of hook,
Marry a blind man,
And live on a tree-lined block.

1. George Hendrik Breitner. The Earring. 1893
2. poem: Ah Margarida by Álvaro de Campos

and a treat:
the flowers she sent and the flowers she said she sent

…
And you tremble like an ostrich
In your ostrich feather coat

“…I’ve stabilized my life to an extent now over these past 10 years. I’m very at ease, and I like it. I never thought I would be such a family-oriented guy; I didn’t think that was part of my makeup. But somebody said that as you get older you become the person you always should have been, and I feel that’s happening to me. I’m rather surprised at who I am, because I’m actually like my dad.”

1. ziggy
2. david bowie

O weary hearts! O slumbering eyes!
O drooping souls, whose destinies
Are fraught with fear and pain,
Ye shall be loved again!

No one is so accursed by fate,
No one so utterly desolate,
But some heart, though unknown,
Responds unto his own.

Responds,–as if with unseen wings,
An angel touched its quivering strings;
And whispers, in its song,
“‘Where hast thou stayed so long?”

poem: endymion – henry wadsworth longfellow
image: Diana the huntress, fresco. Pompeii, Italy. 1st century A.D.

Sleep,
sleep.
We are together always
We are together always
There never was a time
when this
was not so.

poem: Leslie Marmon Silko, “Lullaby”
image: here

how time passes and quickly they grow.

poem: the window diane di prima
image found here

Springtime signals the return of the alligator lizard. The glow from our kitchen window at night has brought them intimately into our life as we’ve watched and studied them over the years catching their nightly fare of moth and flying bug. One of M’s first phrases was an excited chant of “Li Li” when she spied a lizard hanging out on the window glass.

When our Siamese cat, Igor, caught one several days ago the girls rushed to save it from an early death. It was my first day back at work. It was a day of adjustment for all of us – Ami and M waking up earlier than usual, L adjusting to the bottle, Love jumping into the role of circus ringleader, and me feeling a dose of self pity and melancholy for having to return to the real world.

It wasn’t easy.

The lizard helped lighten the load for the girls, especially Ami.

She spent the afternoon coddling and caring for the lizard even making a home for it in our backyard. Her sister followed closely, always by her side.

I can imagine how the hens responded – heads cocked and intently watching with their one-eyed stare. While I was at home, the girls spent a lot of time with the chickens, chasing them, holding them, and digging up worms. Several times, Ami spoke in her sleep, talking to her sister about the chickens.

Used to their constant attention, perhaps, the hens felt a tinge of jealousy. With her sidekick sister, Ami paraded around the backyard with that lizard hoisted atop her index finger.

That night, she put the lizard away in the home she made. It consisted of a terra cotta planter, a metal saucepan, and some old wood. We told her the lizard was already gone, and if not she should set it free.

In the morning, the lizard was still there.

Both girls took to the lizard like a new pet. It spent most of the morning perched again on Ami’s finger. At some point,  it even nibbled the tip of her finger – a kiss.

I wasn’t there when it happened but Ami said it went something like this: she set the lizard down in the grass right next to her and M. The hens were watching from the distance and in an instant the lizard darted for its escape. Ami chased after it but was intercepted by the second chicken in command, a hen named Henny Penny.

She saw her lizard dangling from Henny Penny’s beak. She stood there paralyzed and let out a horrific, tearful “Nooooo!” The sound of little girl cries filled the backyard. Little M scurried after the chicken – also traumatized and howling between tears. She chased Henny Penny around the rose bush.

It was too late.

Like a quarterback on the run, Henny Penny skirted past the girls and the other hens, hastefully eating the lizard in several quick bites.

She is in my arms most of the time.
So we dance.
We dance to Bach – Blute Nur, du Liebes Herz.
…and then she smiles.

“Bleed on, dear heart.
Ah, a child that thou raised,
That sucked at thy breast,
Threatens to murder its guardian,
For it has become a serpent”

Image:  Victorian Turquoise Snake Bracelet
France, late 19th century

“There is no other organ quite like the uterus. If men had such an organ they would brag about it.  So should we.”
― Ina May Gaskin

Image: Joseph Beuys, ‘Schwangere und Schwan (Pregnant Woman with Swan)’ 1959